After messing up and accidentally having a free weekend, I was hyped and ready to get down to business. I woke up to see the newly updated class schedule posted in the WhatsApp group chat. Knowing I had a Personal Training (PT) session included for the day, I was determined to do at least three classes on my first day.

This was where I learned the truly horrifying home truth that I was brutely unfit and that my dreams would remain that a dream. I went to the crosstraining class at 8.15am where I was met with nothing but infinite kindness by all of my fellow participants and the trainer for that class, Coach Dino (Instagram link) and Coach Lewis (Instagram link).

They explained the type of work we would be doing, demonstrated the proper technique for each task, and boosted our confidence every step of the way—something I desperately needed. I started out feeling pretty unsure, but we were matched into groups of three, and I was lucky that the two gentlemen I was paired with had similar strength profiles to mine.

For the warm-up portion, I was able to keep pace with my teammates and hit my workout targets at the same speed. There were a few instances where Dino needed to come over to correct my form. However, he did note that for the most part, my form was almost perfect, especially during the deadlift exercises like the kettlebell deadlift and later, a deadlift using a bench press bar, courtesy of the great Gavin Meenan (Instagram link).

It was in the last 15 minutes, during the partner “As Many Rounds (or Reps) As Possible” (AMRAP) Workout of the Day (WOD), that things took a turn for the worse for me. I had completely run out of energy, and what made it worse was that I was using weights much lighter than what I was previously lifting in Ireland before I left.

Now, there’s a caveat to this: in Ireland, I was using a Triangle Bar for deadlifts, and the weights would range from:

• 5 x 52.5kg (15kg each)
• 5 x 92.5kg (35kg each)
• 5 x 122.5kg (50kg each)
• 5 x 142.5kg (60kg each)

Here in this class, we had 100kg on the bench press bar, and my ability to move it was severely impaired. This crushed my soul, motivation, and desire. What was worse was that, looking around, I was the only one on my team who had to tap out—and the only one in the class to boot. And to make matters worse, I tapped out just 5 minutes into the 15-minute session, which meant I had to sit on the sidelines, watching as the others finished the workout, drowning in my self-loathing.

Now, my teammates didn’t mind at all that I tapped out. They understood and supported me, giving me pep talks and congratulatory slaps on the back for what I had managed to do. But for me, it meant nothing. I was glad I did the class, but the thought of team-based challenges became a sticking point for me. Unfortunately, until the last week of the retreat, I did everything I could to avoid them.

After this, I had breakfast and met with the shining light of the trip. For privacy reasons, I’m not sure she wants to be named, but I met a woman named S. Irish, like me. She understood exactly how I was feeling and had a way about her that made me smile at my own self-loathing. She helped me reflect on my difficulties and gave me the strength to get back up after my “arse was thoroughly smacked.” In an incredible twist of fate, we discovered that we were next-door neighbors at the hotel, so we became buddies and talked throughout the retreat. She truly made the experience beautiful for me, and I thanked her galore for that honor.

Anyway, after she set me right, I decided to partake in one of the extra elements included in my package: one of the three Ice Baths and Saunas a week. These took place on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays between 12 and 2 pm for a period of one hour. Back in Ireland, the wonderful Hot Box Saunas (Website) were a true joy of mine, so I was really looking forward to this experience. However, once again, I would be met with slight disappointment. Much to my chagrin, the maximum temperature of the saunas was 72°C, and with the sauna I used in Ireland often reaching between 90-100°C, I found it lacking.

However, the same could not be said for the ice baths. Throughout the entire experience, I missed only two attempts at the ice bath. It became one of the most enjoyable tasks of the camp, which is certifiably insane, as many of the other camp attendees kept telling me. It got to the point that before I left, one or two people referred to me as the “Lord of the Ice Bath.” On one particular day, I managed to last 45 minutes in the ice water without leaving it for a second. I’ll admit, I did cheat a little—my arms remained above the water for that period. With my arms in the water, I lasted 15 minutes, which I’m still impressed with today.

After the ice, I then met with my PT for the first of 20 sessions we would have throughout this experience—the incredible Aof (Instagram link). Immediately, he noticed a few issues I had never taken notice of. My posture was unacceptable, lurching too far forward, which artificially showcased my, as an incredibly kind nurse once put it, “rotund frame.”

He stated that I had a good amount of definition in the front regions of my chest and shoulders; however, the same couldn’t be said for my rear shoulders and back. This was fascinating to me, because based on this observation, he was able to deduce that before I came to the camp, I had spent several years in a job that required me to sit at a desk for long periods of time. I had always thought I was doing enough to avoid any issues with my body because of that fact. I worked out daily, pushed myself to my limits, started walking more—including doing a number of mountain walks (foreshadowing! in a future post) in my local area—and made an effort to move every hour on the hour.

Alas, I had done some good, but not enough. So, we decided to focus more on strengthening those underdeveloped areas, rather than focusing on a program that would maximize my weight loss, which, as you can see from the images below, was badly needed. We took no quarter and immediately dove into our first workout: Chest and Triceps. What made this particularly grueling was that I had informed Aof about my experience in the Crosstraining class, and he used it as a challenge, targeting the exact areas that had failed me during that session. Truthfully, I believe it was a happy coincidence, but alas, we went for it anyway.

With that, I was satisfied and ready to continue improving in the upcoming days. Before I left, one of the things Aof recommended I pick up was a canister of protein powder to ensure I was getting enough to burn throughout my time at the camp. After a good workout, I wanted to get this out of the way immediately, so I went up the street and checked out a couple of sports shops. After about 30 minutes of going between the stores, I still hadn’t found the specific brand of protein powder Aof had recommended. And then, the last horrible experience of this truly unique first proper day happened.

Let me set the scene. I was on one side of the road and needed to cross to reach the last potential supplement shop on the street. There wasn’t a zebra crossing in sight. Like everywhere else in Thailand, if there isn’t a crossing, your only option is to make a break for it when you get the best chance. Don’t beat me to the punchline… I looked left—nothing. I looked right, and there was a van and a bike on the way up. They were slow, and I had enough distance to cross before they got to me. So, I made the dash.

I crossed in front of the van with plenty of space, crossed in front of the bike with plenty of space, and then, out of nowhere, another bike attempted to overtake the two vehicles at an alarming speed. Unfortunately, I couldn’t do anything, and the bike ran right into me. I was lucky I saw it just in time. I quickly turned my body to roll on top of the front of the bike, which I managed to do. I landed flat on my stomach after rolling off the bike. The only damage was a bruised leg and a sore elbow. In fact, as I write this post, it’s still an annoyance to me, but thankfully nothing worse.

The driver checked to see if I was bleeding or dead, and when he confirmed I wasn’t, he went on his merry way. I got up sore and bruised, but alive and well. This put a stop to my plans for doing more classes that day, but to be fair, I was probably going to skip them anyway. For the next few days, I went to maybe one class and worked with my PT, but it was all good. I healed fairly well and prepared for the other challenges that would appear the following week, but that’s a discussion for next time. I leave you with this image of me at the end of that Monday, and yes, it’s a mix of exhaustion, pain, and disbelief. And why disbelief? Because would you believe the last supplement shop didn’t have the protein powder either?

Until next time, my friends! Be sure to keep your craic at 90! Slán go fóill!